Holding Back The Tears

i feel very down now....nothing can describe my feelings....dis is de very 1st time i argue wif him till so chia lat...i feel lyk im very stupid....knw he having probs wif his family but still i wanna argue wif him cuz of dis...im trying my best to control my anger but fail....everytime talk about family's prob or juz a lil prob tat make me jealous or hate it....i will get angry wif him easily...dont knw y....mayb i had changed,who knws rite??besides dis got one more prob...he argue wif his close fren...i tried to help them out...but im hurt and get more angry wif him when he said he promise me wont argue if i promise him not to argue wif him cuz of small probs....wth!!?he told me he dont mean to cuz feeling a bit down 2day....i knw cuz same goes to me also...if not i also wont get angry wif him dy...but dis kind of thing cannot simply say out de rite??well to me it is...every single lil things he say it rly meant a lot to me...mayb to u guys he juz crapping....but TO ME IS NOT!!!after he said dis,suddenly i ask myself:am i starting to regret for giving him dis chance??he also got ask me dis question....my ans is no cuz dis is my choice....even if i get hurt again i also cant blame anyone...i rly will promise him anything tat he want if dis can makes him happy....i suffer more also dont mind cuz im used to it and dis is de way to show him tat how much i love him all dis time...well at least he and his close fren wont argue dy...try to act happy when chatting wif him....juz dont wan him to be unhappy when being wif me....lyk to c him smile all de time....but i cant hold back my tears while chatting....i heartache again....haiz~hope i can 4gt about dis when i wake up 2moro...talking about his frens...."DE GOSSIP GIRL",tats wat me and my frens used to call her....hate her so much...hate her more now when i knw he added her....to me he cant be close wif anyone tat i dont lyk,even if say their names also cant...I HATE IT!!!!i knw wat u guys gonna say....i get jealous easily and he has the right to make frens wif anyone rite??i also knw tat but i get very sensitive when come to girls....even if is his god sis...i wont back off easily lyk i used to....dont lyk tat sour feeling...i rather argue if need to keep tat feeling....im very immature and stubborn huh?well dis is de real me lo...TENG SIEW TING y u fall aslp!!??make me need to write blog to express my feeling...ish ish!!im not goin to repeat dis to u tell u....u better read it....IF NOT U SO DEAD WHEN I C U!!!!LOL!wanna slp dy cuz my eyes dehydrated too much...i knw....VERY SWT MA!!!but i lyk it....lol :3

❤heart you❤

~by MJ~