Crushed Heart

im starting to have a new habit that is express my feelings by writing blog like nian used to.can say i know why he everytime write blog dy.what is promises??can someone tell me??promises are just nothing to me anymore...i'll just get disappointed and feel down every time when promises that people promised me didn't come true.i can't hold on to this relationship....but i promise you that i will keep hold on to you till the time comes...till that day im not yours and you are not mine...we can't change the fact.i hate it so much but what can i do?!cry a lot this days...well this is my way to cool down myself.suddenly i think of you,nian.everytime when i got problems,u're the one that i rely on,besides than ting,nan and ying.three of them don't have any relationship with anyone before so can't really understand all my feelings.at least u know how i really feel all this time when im being with him.very happy when being with him but in the end i will get hurt so much.well like i said i cant blame anyone for this.can you save me from this sweet disaster?im starting to break down and im really helpless than before.agree with what nan said to me before:"single is the best."so anyone who are single right now...i suggest you that continue to stay single.is really the best...trust me.besides that,couples out there please cherish each other no matter what happen...those promises that u guys promised to your beloved...please make sure that you won't break it...most of all show your beloved that how much you love her/him....because im not lucky as u guys...

❤heart you❤

~by MJ~

JiunEe

I know I have met him in the past,

When we were still young.

Handsome,cute,clever,loving,caring,

And most of all perfect.

That's all I can say about him.

That night,

January 11,in year 2008.

I finally have him in my life,

Happy?very happy?or very very happy?

That feeling very hard to describe.

Remember when we first kissed?

Your lips touches mine.

Can you hear my heartbeat?

Is beating faster and faster every seconds.

Remember when we first went out together?

My hands locked to yours and yours locked to mine.

All eyes were on us every time.

But these sweet memories fly in a blink of an eye.

They came in and interfered,

They just can't sit back and watch how our world goes.

My hun,

I need you more than air

Our world disappear because of them?

It's just not fair.

I waited for you every time,

But all you do is just let me down.

I'm starting to see that we will never be.

I don't know if I should give up hope and stop trying,

Or if I should never stop trying but keep on crying.

I want to hate you so I can move on,

But I have been in this crazy game for way too long.

Today,

Hun and dear still exist.

Our broken world is heal once again.

But there's scars that won't disappear,

Because they still won't stop trying but to interfere.

All we can is to do things behind their backs.

I become more sensitive than before,

Your family,girls that appear around you,

I hate it so much.

I keep asking myself....

Why why why and more why??

Maybe I need you to care about me more,

Maybe I need security from you more,

Maybe I want you to love me more,

Most of all is I want you to become mine!!

Me who used to believe in fairy tales,

Already stop dreaming and open my eyes.

My mind and heart ache,

When I'm thinking of my crashed dreams.

Dreams where just you and me,

There's just only happy ending.

I don't know how long I can hold on,

I will try my very best,

But you must always remember those promises,

Do it but not just say it.

My only wish is to be with you.

I always hope when I told you that I love you,

You will drop everything and run to me,

Maybe even someday you get on one knee and say,

"Dear,I love you,will you marry me?"

I'm waiting....waiting....

Waiting for this day to come true....

❤heart you❤

~by MJ~

Tis Few Days...

This is my 1st blog n it is MJ blog too. We share the same blog n named it as siewmai-story. =) siewmai sounds lyk a tim sum. i noe u can guess it definitely. Ok let talk bout me, myself. Tis few days, i so sue. dunno y??!! who curse me a?? LOL! 1. hp bo credit 2.kena scold 3. msg cant be sent out 4.sore throat 5.flu 6.headache 7. at last see doctor 8. MED!!! (u noe, total up 7 pills!! per 8hours)Got antibiotic,fever,flu and "xiao zhong" de pill lol Gosh! then , the prob i face now is : i dun hav experience to swallow tat 7 pills (hey, dont laugh ==" ) den MJ keep asking me to SWALLOW IT LA. finally i swallow tat successfully. Shd i thx her?? haha. i m damn scared of it. As MJ said it is better than take those liquid de med. Btw, i sick coz of my wisdom tooth. and my face near the wisdom tooth there BENGKAK!! One word: UGLY LOL! I shd realise it earlier coz i cant open my mouth big big since morning. Can u imagine hw i open my mouth to brush teeth??!! HAHA And LAI MAI JIUN next time no need use capital letter to write my name de k. lol i sick ma so fell alsp . cant blame me ^^ Ok i stop here. Blog will be updated when im free. now hav to giv full concentration on my studies jor.
~ting~

Holding Back The Tears

i feel very down now....nothing can describe my feelings....dis is de very 1st time i argue wif him till so chia lat...i feel lyk im very stupid....knw he having probs wif his family but still i wanna argue wif him cuz of dis...im trying my best to control my anger but fail....everytime talk about family's prob or juz a lil prob tat make me jealous or hate it....i will get angry wif him easily...dont knw y....mayb i had changed,who knws rite??besides dis got one more prob...he argue wif his close fren...i tried to help them out...but im hurt and get more angry wif him when he said he promise me wont argue if i promise him not to argue wif him cuz of small probs....wth!!?he told me he dont mean to cuz feeling a bit down 2day....i knw cuz same goes to me also...if not i also wont get angry wif him dy...but dis kind of thing cannot simply say out de rite??well to me it is...every single lil things he say it rly meant a lot to me...mayb to u guys he juz crapping....but TO ME IS NOT!!!after he said dis,suddenly i ask myself:am i starting to regret for giving him dis chance??he also got ask me dis question....my ans is no cuz dis is my choice....even if i get hurt again i also cant blame anyone...i rly will promise him anything tat he want if dis can makes him happy....i suffer more also dont mind cuz im used to it and dis is de way to show him tat how much i love him all dis time...well at least he and his close fren wont argue dy...try to act happy when chatting wif him....juz dont wan him to be unhappy when being wif me....lyk to c him smile all de time....but i cant hold back my tears while chatting....i heartache again....haiz~hope i can 4gt about dis when i wake up 2moro...talking about his frens...."DE GOSSIP GIRL",tats wat me and my frens used to call her....hate her so much...hate her more now when i knw he added her....to me he cant be close wif anyone tat i dont lyk,even if say their names also cant...I HATE IT!!!!i knw wat u guys gonna say....i get jealous easily and he has the right to make frens wif anyone rite??i also knw tat but i get very sensitive when come to girls....even if is his god sis...i wont back off easily lyk i used to....dont lyk tat sour feeling...i rather argue if need to keep tat feeling....im very immature and stubborn huh?well dis is de real me lo...TENG SIEW TING y u fall aslp!!??make me need to write blog to express my feeling...ish ish!!im not goin to repeat dis to u tell u....u better read it....IF NOT U SO DEAD WHEN I C U!!!!LOL!wanna slp dy cuz my eyes dehydrated too much...i knw....VERY SWT MA!!!but i lyk it....lol :3

❤heart you❤

~by MJ~

My Miserable Life

hey ppl...i finally decide to have my own blog dy.well actually is not only mine but also siew ting's.both of us kinda errrr "EXCITED"!!??to write our 1ST BLOG IN OUR LIFE!!!LOL!neway SPM is coming,and my fucking life is not goin my way again.wish tat i never born in dis world b4....BUT if i never born here,i never met my precious frens tat light up my life wif many colours....and d most important is him.i wouldnt knw tat dis world is full of wonderful things if they didnt appear in my life b4.dis few days im very comfused about my own feelings.i fall for one of my best frens....very funny huh?in de same time my beloved find me back again.dis prob make my love prob very complicated.luckily i got ting by my side giving me advice tat i needed it sooo much.i agree wif wat she said.my beloved him can say is de perfect guy for me...he's very sweet and caring guy...but everyone is not perfect rite??so in de same time he will like disappear in my life when there's sumthing happen between us.cuz of some personal reason both of us cant be 2gether.I HATE IT A LOT!!!.for my best fren....well we rly close and we will tell each other about our own probs.dont knw when i had fall for him...i knw he still love her.am i consider as a 3rd party??even he said no but to me it is.my best fren knw i lyk him dy but he still cant 4gt about her...he also treat me gd but there's sumthing tat make me feel i cant touch him and im not secure.my beloved him find me back again....we been through a lot 2gether but he's de one who always make me leave....tat time i dont hav any feeling towards him dy...but after some times tat feeling come back a bit dy.shd i be wif him again??even though both of us knw tat there's no happy ending for both of us.haiz....2 guys at de same time appear...WTF!!??im a bitch am i??play both side....and i hate myself so much.now i think i have my ans in my heart dy.thx to ting.i will cherish everything in my life wif him again...but there's still a lots of things comfusing me...im used to believe in fairy tales....me and him happily ever after??!!...is juz a lie tat bluff small kids...but i rly do wish that we could happily ever after...

❤heart you❤

~by MJ~